OT: The Parrot

[Jim Thompson]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!


...Jim Thompson

[Tim Williams]

:D

Tim

--
"I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretsky and the Pope combined!"
- Homer Simpson

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

[Winfield Hill]

Jim Thompson wrote...

Post by Jim Thompson
"May I ask what the turkey did?"

ROFLOL...

[Rich Grise]

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

LOL! And here, I was sitting anticipating, "Eppie in de toal hole!"

Cheers!
Rich

[petrus bitbyter]

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.

petrus bitbyter


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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.799 / Virus Database: 543 - Release Date: 20-11-2004

[Rhett Auricle]

...

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.

Ah, grasshopper - the darkness enhances the effectiveness of the
punishment. "Hello? Dead turkey?..."

;^j
R.

[Watson A.Name - "Watt Sun, the Dark Remover"]

Post by Rhett Auricle
...

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird

continued,

Post by Rhett Auricle

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light

did not

Post by Rhett Auricle

Post by petrus bitbyter
go off when the freezers door was closed.

Ah, grasshopper - the darkness enhances the effectiveness of the
punishment. "Hello? Dead turkey?..."

No, silly! The parrot had one of Watt Sun's Super Duper LED
flashlights!
:-P

Post by Rhett Auricle
;^j
R.

[Rhett Oracle]

Post by Jim Thompson

Post by Rhett Auricle
...

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot

what

Post by Rhett Auricle

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird

continued,

Post by Rhett Auricle

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light

did not

Post by Rhett Auricle

Post by petrus bitbyter
go off when the freezers door was closed.

Ah, grasshopper - the darkness enhances the effectiveness of the
punishment. "Hello? Dead turkey?..."

No, silly! The parrot had one of Watt Sun's Super Duper LED
flashlights!
:-P

Not to go too too terribly off-topic, but has anyone come up with a
battery-operated, RF-triggered, LED in a glass eye? Obviously, only people
who can wear a glass eye could use it - but if you start talking SMD and
scleral...

[Mac]

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?

Interesting. ;-)

--Mac

[Bill Sloman]

<big snip>

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)

Tecumseh Fitch, who knows a bit about animal language

http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/

has been known to say that the African Grey Parrot is the best
non-human speaker around, and can do quite a bit better than mere
parroting.

http://www.alexfoundation.org/research/articles/harvard/harvard.html

So I guess the idea of the parrot seeing in the dark is more
implausible, because no creature's eye works in the dark.

------
Bill Sloman, Nijmegen

[Fred Bloggs]

Post by Bill Sloman
<big snip>

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)

Tecumseh Fitch, who knows a bit about animal language
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/
has been known to say that the African Grey Parrot is the best
non-human speaker around, and can do quite a bit better than mere
parroting.

Okay- well that puts it head and shoulders above "Clarence" on the
evolutionary scale.

[Spehro Pefhany]

On Thu, 25 Nov 2004 22:51:07 GMT, the renowned Fred Bloggs

Post by Fred Bloggs

Post by Bill Sloman
<big snip>

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)

Tecumseh Fitch, who knows a bit about animal language
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/
has been known to say that the African Grey Parrot is the best
non-human speaker around, and can do quite a bit better than mere
parroting.

Okay- well that puts it head and shoulders above "Clarence" on the
evolutionary scale.

Ah, but can it handle apostrophes?


Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany

[Rich Grise]

Post by Fred Bloggs

Post by Bill Sloman
<big snip>

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)

Tecumseh Fitch, who knows a bit about animal language
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/
has been known to say that the African Grey Parrot is the best
non-human speaker around, and can do quite a bit better than mere
parroting.

Okay- well that puts it head and shoulders above "Clarence" on the
evolutionary scale.

The parrot doesn't have to see in the dark. It can see the turkey carcass
lying there as it's being put in with it. The Door Closes. Slam! It's
pitch black. No light. No sound. And C-C-C-COLD! Can't you just see this
poor parrot, who had just seen the turkey, saying, tentatively, "Turkey?
Uh, hello? Um, are you OK?..."

Post by Fred Bloggs
;->

Rich

[Spehro Pefhany]

Post by Bill Sloman
<big snip>

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)

Tecumseh Fitch, who knows a bit about animal language
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/
has been known to say that the African Grey Parrot is the best
non-human speaker around, and can do quite a bit better than mere
parroting.
http://www.alexfoundation.org/research/articles/harvard/harvard.html
So I guess the idea of the parrot seeing in the dark is more
implausible, because no creature's eye works in the dark.

Maybe the parrot went through Seth Brundle's TelePod and had her DNA
fused with that of a firefly-- "Pollyfly". Or perhaps with fused with
an Angler Fish.


Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany

[Mac]

Post by Bill Sloman
<big snip>

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light
did not go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is
that the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)

Tecumseh Fitch, who knows a bit about animal language
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~wtsf/
has been known to say that the African Grey Parrot is the best non-human
speaker around, and can do quite a bit better than mere parroting.
http://www.alexfoundation.org/research/articles/harvard/harvard.html
So I guess the idea of the parrot seeing in the dark is more
implausible, because no creature's eye works in the dark.

You have got to be kidding me. I mean, either you are a moron or a troll.
You snipped the original post (which was a JOKE, not a story claiming to
report factual events), but the level of conversational ability and
intelligence depicted in the JOKE were so far beyond what is possible of a
parrot that there is no point in talking about which is less plausible,
because they are both totally impossible.

My point, which I didn't think I need to make explicitly, was that the
depiction of the parrot as highly intelligent and fluent clearly put the
JOKE beyond the reach of petty nitpicks about what is and is not possible
regarding seeing in the freezer.

Besides, even parrots possess senses other than sight and hearing, and the
parrot in question could, perhaps, have detected the dead turkey using
these other senses.

Post by Bill Sloman
------
Bill Sloman, Nijmegen

--Mac

[Winfield Hill]

Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!

[Watson A.Name - "Watt Sun, the Dark Remover"]

Post by Winfield Hill
Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!
--
Thanks,
- Win

Thanks. That came from me - one who has had personal experience!

[Mac]

Post by Winfield Hill
Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!

I agree with you on both counts.

In fact I probably shouldn't have replied to Bill Sloman at all.

--Mac

[Clarence]

Post by Mac
In fact I probably shouldn't have replied to Bill Sloman at all.

Never a GOOD idea!

[Fred Bloggs]

Post by Winfield Hill
Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!

I know what you mean- I was taking care of some big thing like that for
a few days and it was the meanest bird ever. The thing was constantly
and maniacally sharpening its razor sharp beak on some kind of seashell
and just waiting for someone to come within strike range. It was a life
threatening event just to change its water.

[Robert Monsen]

Post by Fred Bloggs

Post by Winfield Hill
Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!

I know what you mean- I was taking care of some big thing like that for
a few days and it was the meanest bird ever. The thing was constantly
and maniacally sharpening its razor sharp beak on some kind of seashell
and just waiting for someone to come within strike range. It was a life
threatening event just to change its water.

I knew an african grey parrot that could imitate the telephone, and
cause people to try to answer it; imitiate a master calling a dog, and
get the dog to come running in; imitate the fighting of two sisters
simultaneously... the thing was wonderful. Thankfully, I never had to
change its water.

[Pig Bladder]

Post by Winfield Hill
Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!

But where else is a guy gonna find guys who are so bleeding smart,
yet whose noses are so easy to pick?

[Rich Grise]

Post by Winfield Hill
Mac wrote...

You have got to be kidding me. ...

There's got to be something more useful to discuss than this line of
thought. Well, I did enjoy the mention that no one "grabs" a parrot.
Not twice anyway!

Do you mean, "let's get back to all work and no play", or do you mean,
"let's do something besides beat the stupid parrot joke to death"?
Or maybe, "None of the above"? ;-)

Cheers!
Rich

"But the parrot wasn't dead! The turkey was!" "No, no. That's dead _horse_!"

[petrus bitbyter]

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)
--Mac

I always try to keep my mouth shut about things I don't understand. I heard
witnesses about talking parrots. Some told me they speak more reasonable
then a lot of humans. I had no opertunity to check it out so I keep my
opinion - suppose I have one - behind my teeth. But nobody ever told me
about a parrot that can see in the dark. I also know that even the most
sensitive equipment cannot make any light visible if there is none. So there
raised some question about the technical side of this story. That's the side
I understand and can talk about with some authority.

(I could add the advise to do the same to the members of this newsgroup. But
I leave it as it makes no sense. The ones that would follow up such an
advise do so already. All others will not do so and keep doing what they did
already.)

(I guess I know the reason we never hear a parrot in the group. Think they
don't understand electronics.)

petrus bitbyter



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[Pig Bladder]

Post by petrus bitbyter
I always try to keep my mouth shut about things I don't understand. I heard
witnesses about talking parrots. Some told me they speak more reasonable
then a lot of humans. I had no opertunity to check it out so I keep my
opinion - suppose I have one - behind my teeth. But nobody ever told me
about a parrot that can see in the dark. I also know that even the most
sensitive equipment cannot make any light visible if there is none. So there
raised some question about the technical side of this story. That's the side
I understand and can talk about with some authority.

Um, do you understand, "It's a joke"?

Post by petrus bitbyter
(I could add the advise to do the same to the members of this newsgroup. But
I leave it as it makes no sense. The ones that would follow up such an
advise do so already. All others will not do so and keep doing what they did
already.)
(I guess I know the reason we never hear a parrot in the group. Think they
don't understand electronics.)

Oh, hell! I could name about four right off the top of my frontal lobe!

[Mac]

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)
--Mac

I always try to keep my mouth shut about things I don't understand. I heard
witnesses about talking parrots. Some told me they speak more reasonable
then a lot of humans. I had no opertunity to check it out so I keep my
opinion - suppose I have one - behind my teeth. But nobody ever told me
about a parrot that can see in the dark. I also know that even the most
sensitive equipment cannot make any light visible if there is none. So there
raised some question about the technical side of this story. That's the side
I understand and can talk about with some authority.

It's not a story. It is a joke. It is not meant to be realistic, and the
main tip-off is the ability of the parrot not only to speak, which parrots
are well-known to do, but to hold an intelligent conversation and to
reason at the same level we might expect from a human.

[snip]

Post by petrus bitbyter
petrus bitbyter

--Mac

[petrus bitbyter]

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Who repaired the light switch of the freezer? Apparently the light did not
go off when the freezers door was closed.
petrus bitbyter

So the story features a parrot capable of reasoning and conversing
interactively with a human, but the part that you find implausible is that
the parrot can see in the dark?
Interesting. ;-)
--Mac

I always try to keep my mouth shut about things I don't understand. I heard
witnesses about talking parrots. Some told me they speak more reasonable
then a lot of humans. I had no opertunity to check it out so I keep my
opinion - suppose I have one - behind my teeth. But nobody ever told me
about a parrot that can see in the dark. I also know that even the most
sensitive equipment cannot make any light visible if there is none. So there
raised some question about the technical side of this story. That's the side
I understand and can talk about with some authority.

It's not a story. It is a joke. It is not meant to be realistic, and the
main tip-off is the ability of the parrot not only to speak, which parrots
are well-known to do, but to hold an intelligent conversation and to
reason at the same level we might expect from a human.
[snip]

Post by petrus bitbyter
petrus bitbyter

--Mac

Well... er, thanks for the explanation.

petrus bitbyter


---
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[Rich Grise]

[actually, told some joke about a smartass parrot - I didn't hear
all that much schreefing, and, well, truth be known, I don't even
know what a bericht is, but from the sounds of it, I should be glad
that I don't have one, especially one that can be schreefed in!]
...

Post by petrus bitbyter

Post by Mac

Post by petrus bitbyter
raised some question about the technical side of this story. That's
the side I understand and can talk about with some authority.

It's not a story. It is a joke. It is not meant to be realistic, and
the main tip-off is the ability of the parrot not only to speak, which
parrots are well-known to do, but to hold an intelligent conversation
and to reason at the same level we might expect from a human.
--Mac

Well... er, thanks for the explanation.
petrus bitbyter

Any time, I'm sure. ;-p

Cheers!
Rich

And I don't blame herbs for my idiocy, but they sure do make _me_ laugh at
it!

;^j

[Bill Sloman]

<snip>

Post by Mac
It's not a story. It is a joke. It is not meant to be realistic, and the
main tip-off is the ability of the parrot not only to speak, which parrots
are well-known to do, but to hold an intelligent conversation and to
reason at the same level we might expect from a human.

Some humans.

As Fred Bloggs has pointed out, some African Grey parrots seem to be
able to outperform ostensibly human posters on this user-group.

------
Bill Sloman, Nijmegen

[Glenn Gundlach]

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:[phone] | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:[phone] | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

ROTFLMAO

Good show. Thanks for the laugh.

GG

[Watson A.Name - "Watt Sun, the Dark Remover"]

Post by Jim Thompson
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot
and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw
up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the
door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's
outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
...Jim Thompson
--

Cute story - I think everyone here got this in their email last week.

But I'd like to make one categorically certain statement. One _never_
grabs a parrot.

Well, I take that back. One grabs a parrot only once. The next time he
will grab him with a hand with one less finger!!!